Oregon Governor John Kitzhaber Resigns amid Ethics Scandal and Oregon Secretary of State Kate Brown becomes America’s First LGBT Governor.on Wednesday, February 18, 2015
John Kitzhaber’s Personal and Political Demise.
From Boots and Spurs in the Governor’s Mansion
to Whips and Chains and Dildos!
By Scott Rohter, February 2015
It’s another one of those “historic” moments for Oregon. At least that’s what Oregon Public Broadcasting intimated last week when they reported that four time Governor John Kitzhaber abruptly resigned from office and Oregon Secretary of State Kate Brown became America’s first LGBT Governor.. It was one month into an unprecedented fourth term for Governor Kitzhaber, the emergency room physician from Roseburg who was born in Washington and grew up in Eugene. He resigned under a cloud of suspicions and pressure from his peers while an ongoing criminal investigation into allegations of influence peddling by the former Governor and his fiancé continues to run its course. Oregon’s iconic four term Governor will be replaced by our Secretary of State, Kate Brown who will become America’s first openly bisexual Governor. My only concern is that the signs on the bathrooms at the Capitol will have to be changed from day to day in order to accomodate the new Governor.
Mr. Kitzhaber’s resignation came as a complete surprise to most political observers in Salem. Just a day earlier he told reporters that he had no intention of resigning while the criminal and ethics investigations were underway. So what happened to make Oregon’s unpredictable Democrat Governor change his mind? We may never know the whole truth but the most likely scenario is that a cabal of his own Democratic peers conspired to throw him under the bus for the sake of maintaining their Party’s control over the Governor’s office in 2016. Oregon hasn’t had a Republican Governor in almost thirty years, since Vic Atiyeh left office in 1987 yet the Democrats are still worried about losing their grip on power. They want to push any news about Governor Kitzhaber’s personal and political problems off of the front page as the 2016 election cycle rolls around. Any news of a criminal investigation concerning the Governor’s conduct is a big story and it winds up on the front page, but news about a former Governor is not nearly so compelling nor distracting from the Democrats agenda to win re-election in 2016… Nevertheless the Oregon Republican Party didn’t have anything to do with John Kitzhaber’s personal and political downfall. It was all a Democrat family affair.
Governor Kitzhaber spent more than twelve years in office as Oregon’s chief executive. That is a long time to get used to the idea that you are the most important person in the entire State. When you are at the top of the political heap for so long it gets in your blood and it is easy to forget that there are other players in the game just waiting for their chance in the limelight. You can get a little carried away with yourself and a little careless. Politics is a team effort just like football or basketball. The Democrats are a political team and no single individual is more important than the success of the whole team.
And speaking of being single… if you add to this the fact that the divorced Governor recently fell in love with a beautiful, much younger woman then you have all the makings for Mr. Kitzhaber’s personal and political demise. No matter how old you are when you fall in love the exhilarating experience can make you feel like you are walking on thin air. It is very easy to forget that there is nothing under your feet. Being in love can knock you off your game plan. So after twelve years in power and blinded by Cupid’s arrows you might begin to feel like you are indispensable to others around you.
I believe that Governor Kitzhaber got too comfortable being in power for so long.. Then he fell in love and it knocked him off his stride just long enough for him to get careless. He began to think that he was the exception to the rule instead of someone who had to follow the rules just like anyone else.
Governor Kitzhaber fashioned himself to be a cowboy of sorts and he frequently came to Salem sporting designer jeans and cowboy boots. That was just fine and dandy until he started to act like a cowboy too. That’s when it became a problem. Now the Governor’s mansion which has hosted real wild west cowboys as well as a self-styled, designer cowboy from Roseburg who used to be an emergency room physician will now be the home of the peculiar, alternative life style of America’s first bisexual Governor… or was that Janet Napolitano? Oh well. Regardless of who it was, this is just another historic moment for a State that leads the nation in perversity as well as in diversity. The University of Oregon Ducks may not have won the national collegiate championship this year but at least Oregon leads the nation in something. And here are just a few more ways that Oregon leads the Nation…
Our State’s hard working Mennonite farmers grow some of the best grass in the world right here in the Willamette Valley. They grow it for seed. Every year they winnow the grass and harvest the seed from their fields. Then they remove as much of the weed as possible and they sell their prized grass seed mixtures all over the world. Meanwhile Oregon’s dopey liberals in Portland, Eugene, and Corvallis gather all of the weed they can get from different fields and they smoke some of the best grass that Oregon law allows. In the past they did it secretly but it’s all out in the open now. It’s all perfectly legal.
Under our State’s Democrat Governors and Legislatures Oregon was one of the first States to legalize medical marijuana. Now we are one of the first States to legalize the use of recreational marijuana. We legalized gambling at Indian tribal casinos and we have a State Lottery that licenses slot machines for use inside of family restaurants. We elected a Democrat Governor who was accused of statutory rape. As the mayor of Portland Neil Goldschmidt had sex with a thirteen year old girl. Later Jimmy Carter nominated him to be U.S. Secretary of Transportation. Now Oregon has elected a Democrat Governor who is under investigation for influence peddling. I wonder what the future holds in store for him under the Obama Administration or perhaps under a future Hillary Clinton Administration. Now Oregon boasts America’s first openly bisexual Governor. Wow, what a record of perversity.
The Bible says that in the latter days women and children would lead people which have rejected the word of God. Who would have imagined that the woman who would lead the people of Oregon would be such a degenerate? But then she is a Democrat after all and her personal morals really aren’t much worse than the last Governor’s are they?