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The Gingrich that Almost Stole Christmas

By Scott Rohter, December 2011

'Twas the Newt before Christmas and all through the House.
Congress was stirring. Voters clicking their mouse,
Eager to know who was up in the polls.
Who would win Iowa and New Hampshire before the first snows.

All the candidates for President were hanging out at State Fairs,
In hope that the White House soon would be theirs.
While conservatives were hanging all of our hopes
On the dubious premise we were more than mere dopes.

'Tis funny to see them lined up in a row,
The Candidates on T.V. begging more of our doe,
While pundits in the media conjecture and boast,
This year voter apathy is over for most.

On Bachmann, On Perry, Santorum, and Paul.
Free markets and fair trade brings prosperity to all.
But politics is nasty and the primaries controlled.
And those who win office aren't courageous or bold.

The Establishment supports a different plan.
With Donors backing a "Newt" kind of man.
Some thought it was Romney, but I knew the truth.
'Twas the Gingrich that stole Christmas. I would bet my eyetooth.

As the Democrats in the Senate worked all through the night
Determined to pass health care, Republicans braced for a fight...
"We will climb any wall", Speaker Pelosi decried,
but got no Republican votes no matter how hard she tried.

The House was stirring too late Christmas Eve
Raising the Debt Ceiling if you can believe.
The more that they borrow, the worse that they spend
And when they leave office we're stuck with the debt in the end.

But I remain hopeful even as the future is in doubt.
There must be a leader who can find a way out
After borrowing for decades without paying back
There has just got to be some way to get our country on track.

Eighteen trillion in debt... The Republic pressed to survive.
Economists seem clueless. Their solutions nothing but jive.
Now there is an election if it isn't too late.
We need a victory in the Hawkeye State.

By now all the candidates are ready to go.
Thousands of precincts prepared to tally the toll.
The first stop is Iowa where the mission is clear.
Leading the pack, not bringing up the rear.

On Bachman, On Perry, Santorum, and Paul
But none could stop Romney's nomination that Fall.
I was wrong about Gingrich, I'm sure you'll remember.
And What a disastrous defeat Romney also had in November.

So the political lesson of this poem is clear
We really can make a difference this time of the year.
Now Mr. Trump is the President and victory is great
If only he doesn't pick Romney for Secretary of State.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night,
Regardless of your views Left, Center, or Right.
And whoever Trump choses for Secretary of State
We'll be rid of Obama and his eight years of hate.

"The truth, the political truth, and nothing but the political truth.
A journalist has no better friend than the truth."
- Scott Rohter


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